August 04, 2008

Jigglebums!

Damn I don't need to go to clubs anymore. I just play Deezer at the office. I pump it on my speakers and start dancing!

Sure, I turned on supermode. And my body just started moving on its own will. My bum started jiggling in my chair, and my feet just started tapping to the beat one-two. And you know what? Everybody's bums started jiggling!

I just looked slyly around, and slowly cranked up the volume.... 4... 5... 6. Those bums just started jiggling all the more. Those feet just kept tapping, tapping, the keystrokes of the engineers and secretaries just timed more and more to the rhythm. crank it... 7... 8.... and then we couldn't take it any longer. Everybody started dancing.

A little old lady walked into the office at that second, delivering danishes. She looked like she hadn't heard of any music faster than Brahms' Lullaby, but as soon as heard the beat, she grabbed me by the waist and started swinging me between the desks like she was an Olympic athlete!

I reached out to turn the dial to 9, but then, then boss walked in on us with a stern look on his face. All of us stopped. The last to notice that something funny had happened was a new clerk, just out of school, who was still on his notice period. When he finally turned and saw the boss, you should have seen the look on his face.

And then, something incredible happened. The boss strode right on over to my desk, grabbed me firmly by the wrist of my hand which was reaching for the volume dial, looked me in the eye and, while I was in a cold sweat, expecting the worst, said just two words.

"Crank it."

We all looked at each other in wonder. And then, then little old lady shouted out "What are you all waiting for?" She grabbed the boss by the lapels, swung him in the air and heaved him into motion, both of them grinding to the hard bass beat and insistent snare. The boss looked at us and shouted "You heard the lady! What are you waiting for?" He loosened his tie and threw his jacket from his shoulders.

That did it for me... 9 ...10. I cranked the volume dial higher than it had ever gone before. Everybody, frozen by the boss' appearance, got out of the trance and back into the dance. Our co-workers started arriving from other offices, and as soon as they entered their eyes lit up and they go into the groove, swinging their partners around the room.

We were bopping around like there was no tomorrow. The music was pumping out of my computer speakers, everybody was swinging. Everybody got into the act - secretaries, janitors, delivery boys, even the window washers started swiping their rubber wipers to the rhythm.

And the computer monitors started swivelling side to side. They must have been infected with some kind of dance music virus. Then, "No," the new guy laughed. "I just installed an emotion-sensibility program in them! They literally love the music!"

We partied for hours. The boss declared it "Dance Day - a day when everyone would forget about their daily worries and relieve their stress by dancing all day long". And that's what it became, and that's what it is until this day.

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