November 26, 2001

Diddybase: A data storage and retrieval facility owned and administered by Diddy Kong.

November 23, 2001

Know, dear Reader, that if you have not yet understood that the creatures of which we speak are far from the humans they were once intended to resemble, then this tale is prepared to offer very little in the way of credit, and you should take pains not to exceed your limit. Know, too, that I do not wish that you delve any deeper into their identity, for knowledge of it would only give this tale an unnecessarily and inappropriately comic turn. I concede, however, that this last exigence may be but a vanity of mine, in that your knowledge -- the moment at which you cry Eureka -- undermines the imagination of which I wish to boast. This tale is far less imaginative when you do not take it at face-value.

November 21, 2001

Yo guy, no SMOKE! Tell ya what...
  1. Take a potatoe.
  1. Scope the connection.
  1. Scope the connection.
  1. Scalp the dissection.
  1.  
  1.  
Rely on its traction. Meter the action.
  1.  
Retreat from your faction. Measure a fraction.
  1. Pause.
Survey the reaction.

November 19, 2001

Rice krispies squares

We are all Afghans, contained in an 80-km2 perimeter, 18 km high, blocked from all escape, tracked by laser beams.

November 07, 2001

Like squared I use EasyWeb and EasyLine at the same time. I get more done than Americans with war on their minds. My projects drop in multitudes, without Microsoft time-lines, But I'm less aware of the present than a redneck appreciates fine wine.

November 05, 2001

Listopad

Witamy. Witamy Witaminy, Rencotramy glupje miny. Swalowuja brudne sliny, i my slimaki, gotujemy wrzystkim maki, Strzelamy jak a Paki, w slady Conduisemy wasze Lady i wy idzecie pjechota, przez piedy, sieroto Przez beats i beaty i rytmy i kasety, Vaincrujemy te kobiety, salujemy legie jety Radzieckujemy tes gazety, tez testujemy te lesbiety Ty kupujesz? My sprzedajemy. Zujesz? Plujemy. Rymowamy quand il pluje, sprayemy bity czas na booya the pleut the pleut jest moj favourite sing gotta puty on my pluty like a babun on a swing Bite my bite, ty pjuto, like a lajt? dam jutro. Koka kola hear me holla' Got banana beatz like VRANNNG, drinkin'tha Tang Got more vitamins than Bang.

November 04, 2001

15. Canadians don't know how to do anything.

I mean, I feel like you've been living in cave for twenty-five years or something! You don't know how to find an apartment, how to choose the degree you want, how to get a job, how to buy a car, how to send a letter, how to use a coupon, how to change a lightbulb, nothing, nothing at all!! What am I supposed to think? I don't know how to do things around here, but it seems like no one does and no one can help me. How can people live like this? How can you know that housing legislation overrides all personally written contracts? How come it's not written right on the rental application? How can you know what degree to get if you want to get into marketing? How can you get experience without already having experience? How can you get anywhere in this country? I don't get why they call it such a "free," "opportunity-filled" country, when there's no simple way to get anything at all! You Canadians are so focused on individuality that there seem to be no rules for anything. Consequently you have to rely on yourself to complete the smallest little task. And if you suck, then somebody's going to steal your house from you. Everything... dammit, everything is a competition. God help you if you run into a dishonest landlord, or car dealer, or the guy who sold you your house.

Midge

I am so impressed by your character and sense of judgement that I can only assume that your taste in women is impeccable: any woman whom you date must be the most desirable and attractive woman there is; however, I would not dream of insulting your taste by attempting to make the judgment with my own poor sight (or any of the other senses for that matter).