July 16, 2001
Number 2: concentrate!Aye-aye skipp, we skip the docks, dock our pay, u-boats locked, underground boats underground boats refuse to float dump refuse on refuge coasts like the fu-geela skip town skip payments break the law number 2: concentrate like my juice
July 09, 2001
Let's go blind!Didn't the west just march into Africa handing out sunglasses once again? It seems we thought they would all go blind during the recent eclipse. That would have been terrible! Imagine all of Africa blind! Every single last one of them. Why, those Africans are so superstitious, as many articles in the newspaper, placed prominently so that we could find the most pertinent news first, proved. The most prominent of accounts featured an African grandmother, clearly a representative of her continent by the Canadian editor's decision to give her story a big cut of the first international news page, screaming that everyone was going to die, and sighing in relief when the moon passed ominously away from the sun. Considering how ingrained is the African fear of the solar eclipse, I hope we gave out some nice Oakleys to our black citizens here in the hometowns of all those brave missionaries who distributed on the savage continent. Damn they might have all thrown fits otherwise. Never looked at the sun directly myself during an eclipse. Nor has anyone I know. I'm glad that science has once and for all proven that we must never ever do this. What a relief to not have to make such decisions. There must be a billion things that science has "decided" that nobody bothers to question. There's not much difference between that and blindly following some myth like the African grandmother's one that the paper carefully ridiculed. It happens in every age really, and then then next age makes fun of the last one. I'm sure there are a lot of scientists out there who don't like their jobs, too. Everybody who goes to university meets tons of students who are just in school to party. Then they gain the title "scientist" and all of a sudden they're socially responsible? Severe doubts. Bunch of beer-swilling retards telling us what to do. Probably the majority of them.
July 07, 2001
How to fill a beakerWith an emphasis on safety, the department teaches that acid poured into water will cause the harmless liquid to splash out, while the reverse operation could displace the more dangerous liquid. Kids seeking high marks, therefore, must follow the former procedure when handling their beakers. Mr Simmons professed this advice to his class with a dignified sense of wisdom. He was undoubtedly right and science was undoubtedly incorrigible once again. He navigated a curious method of divulging the knowledge; one often regarded as socratic: he proposed that his class may know the answer and simply asked them which of the two obvious alternatives the class preferred. And why. Perhaps the class got it, perhaps not. Whether it was a student or the teacher who finally released the reason was less consequential than the unanimity with which it was received. A clear, solid lesson brought to us by science. The essence of science itself in fact. Not at all. The lesson, which you should practice if you are actually mixing acid and water, ignores completely the scientific method. Imagine how science would have arrived at the same conclusion: hypothesis: water poured into acid is better than acid poured into water experiment: student will lift beaker of water and inverse it until said liquid falls into beaker of acid below; will repeat the reverse procedure observations: student splashed with acid, runs to eyewash, breaks beaker; reverse procedure, student pessimistic but unhurt perform experiment repeatedly conclusion: actually, acid poured into water better than water poured into acid hypothesis, theory, law, etc... Clearly, the result comes about from common sense, or "wisdom" much more naturally than from the scientific method. Yet science claims it for its own with one might say arrogance. But we won't go so far as that. We all know what this is another case of. It's--
July 06, 2001
New to Bible readings?
(For we are but of yesterday, and know nothing, because our days upon earth are shadow:) JOB 8:9
Now, most of you probably haven't gotten around to reading the Bible in great detail yet, but you may appreciate this quote nevertheless, which is quite striking at first glance isn't it? I mean, no academia needed to figure this one out is there? Pretty exciting stuff. Look: there's a smiley after the word "shadow"! Clearly the writer of the Bible is communicating a gesture of sympathetic cheer following this somewhat bleak quotation. And he has found no better way to communicate it than the method so recently brought into vogue as the colon-closed parenthex sideways smiling face!
July 04, 2001
July 01, 2001
Je style comme un crocodileOnce we boarded two successive buses and his head passed where I disembarked, and now we get a tele-communication (vox), a fewer than hundred meter warning of the black that would overcloud us in ninety seconds. (time is an invention of the west) and whence space (that too lives continue without) and liberation from dimension breeds (breeds cold water)
12. Canadians hide their nudity from their doctors.In medical establishments, when X-ray scanning is taking place, Canadians prefer to cover their skin with fabric impermeable to the sight. The X-rays pass normally. Prudence wins over examinational accuracy.